Prickly is the Best Definition

On topic blog for a change, can you believe it?

It’s amazing that I can appear to be in good spirits on my blog when I feel like complete crap in real life! I’ve gotten enough sleep over the past several days, which is great for me. I woke up this morning wondering why I had to go to work. I’m unsure of the reason of the dread, but it was definitely there. I went to work, and I was here for an hour before my head started to ache. Took an allergy pill and found some saline, so it feels a little better. The spot where I cracked my skull hurts like a bitch, but that’s to be expected. So, I’m feeling a little better physically. Now my tolerance for stupidity is at the brim.

It’s one of those days where I’m prickly. That’s the best definition. If someone touches me it feels like electricity to me, and any sort of stimulation is just too much. I can’t usually hear people talking around me, because I’ve learned to tune them out, but today I’m really sensitive, and it’s starting to bother me. Usually that’s a sign of a migraine, but my head doesn’t hurt like a migraine. The other is a symptom of anxiety, which is most definitely possible.

I had some anxiety issues yesterday that surfaced. I didn’t recognize it right away and thought it was depression. M’s been gone for nearly a week now, so it’s really quiet in the house. You never know that you’re going to miss someone that much until they’re gone for a certain period of time. I guess my “homesickness” begins after 6 days, or when I’m not busy doing something. I realized yesterday that I didn’t have any of my anxiety meds with me, and tried to remind myself last night to put some in my purse for today, but alas.

So, now I’m sitting here wanting the people I work with to stop yelling at each other having an outdoor voice conversation, but being passive aggressive about it by putting on my headphones because I don’t want to piss anyone off. This is one of those days where things are getting to me when they shouldn’t. Maybe I should have taken a mental health day, but I’m trying not to do that. It seems that I have to take one day a month for health reasons, which leaves very few days for actual sick/vacation days. I’m trying to really curb the feeling to just take the day.

I need to hit Yoga classes after work to help balance myself. The training sessions are great, because they get my mind off of everything else and on what I need to get done. They’re an exclamation point to the end of my day, especially when I accomplish something I didn’t used to be able to do. That’s been a rarity these days since the car accident, but I’m getting back up there.

It’s time to tell the therapist about some of the things that are going on. I’m unsure if it’s normal, and I’m just now recognizing this stuff, or if it’s new. It’s difficult to differentiate between the neurological issues from the car accident from the issues that I’ve dealt with most my life. Confusion abounds!

Gotta get into my own head and get things balanced before I go off the deep end and take it out on the wrong person. The last thing M. needs is for me to be in a pissy mood when he gets home later this week, and get into it with him for no reason other than the pent up emotions.  Gotta find an outlet today & tomorrow that’s not self-destructive. Not going out drinking with friends tonight, gonna take big kitty to the vet. Tomorrow is therapy, so that’s a good thing. Don’t think I have anything on Thursday, and Friday is training, then maybe karaoke. That will definitely get my mind off things, if I can last that long.

I simply love having a mental illness and a neurological disorder. The combination of the two make for a fabulous day. 

Posted in Fibromyalgia, Moody, Personal | 1 Comment

Realization

I didn’t realize this until recently, when the other blog that I write for started getting some active use. I am not the only blogger there, so several of us blog about different topics, etc. We each have access to post, but can only accept/deny comments on our own posts. I have yet to block/deny someone’s post, unless it’s obviously spam (I hate those).

Over the past couple of days, I’ve gone on that blog to check for comments on my most recent post. I had a couple yesterday and saw that there were several outstanding. I read through the comments, and they were really valid points. Some were quite critical of the issue, blogger, commenters, but generally were all in good taste and not in violation of the TOS. I figured the other bloggers hadn’t gotten to approving the comments.

I go back today and find that there are at least five more comments that haven’t been posted. Then I notice some in the “trash” that are valid comments, that were simply discarded for one reason or another. I find that, interesting isn’t the word, but puzzling.

I’m not a fan of criticism, unless it’s positive of course, but having someone come out and say what they mean, even if it isn’t the nicest way possible can be refreshing (yet infuriating at the same time.) I appreciate that people comment on my blog, and my posts on the other blog. I’ve even posted my response to an error made. No big deal, at least the person pointing it out knew that I read it and took it into consideration. I guess it bothers me, and it really shouldn’t, that other people writing for the same blog I do will simply not post a comment because they don’t agree with it, or can’t be bothered to check for them, since they are moderated.

What are your thoughts?

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

I actually DO blog on occasion.

SEE!

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Hot Under the Collar?

As someone who works for the state, and has had issues with the temperature controls, because of the layout of our offices, I found this article very  interesting.

What’s more is that they interviewed people in the basement, where it’s naturally cooler, albeit the print shop, and cleaning crews who walk from floor to floor, and don’t have consistent temperatures on a daily basis, to the cook over a hot grill during his work hours.  They didn’t bother to talk with anyone who can’t make the changes these folks have made.

I work for a unit where we are not allowed to wear shorts, even on casual days.  We had to file requests to have any appliances outside our computers in our area.  Seriously.  I had to put in writing a request to have my small fan, that takes less wattage to run than a standard 60 watt light bulb, but lamps aren’t tagged.

Our floor is one that has a vary of temperatures.  I am lucky to work on the cooler side of the building.  In the winter it’s quite cold, and we have to wear layers of clothes & fingerless gloves at times.  I don’t mind that so much, because you can always put on more clothes.  The summer months aren’t so forgiving.  You can’t take off more clothes to stay cool.  So, for someone like me who sweats at the mere glance of 80 degrees and over 40% humidity, it’s quite uncomfortable.  I’m happy to have my fan.

My coworkers on the other side of the building aren’t so lucky.  The sun shines in the windows, and heats the area to an unbearable temperature.  They too had to vie for fans, as the median temperature there is nearly 85 degrees (nearly 10 degrees hotter than it is on my side).  I feel bad for the assistance dog that has to work on that side.  She has got to feel the heat, and doesn’t have the luxury of taking off her coat!  So, everyone over there seems to have a fan approved.  I’m wondering if it’s going to get hotter since they turned off the AC.

The AC in my house wasn’t working properly over the past couple of days, and I’m a proponent of trying to maintain open windows & fans, even when it’s 80 outside, but the 90s is a little hard to bear.  When we realized the condenser wasn’t working, we had to get someone out to fix it.  It’s still a little wonky, but it’s cooling.  We hope we don’t have to use it all summer long, as it’s not usually in the 90s.  But, with my house only three floors, it was unbearable, even with all windows open, air circulating with the help of fans.  I cannot imagine what it will be like up here on the 16th floor, no circulation, no way to open windows, and one small fan in my small area.

I guess I have to be thankful for that, and my Old Navy credit card, so I can stock up on capris this season, no matter how silly they may look on me.

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Dangerous Intersections

So, I’m reading the Times Union today and come across this story.  I find it interesting to see it from the pedestrian’s point of view, because in some cases they’re right; drivers don’t pay attention.

However, neither do pedestrians!  I’ve nearly hit people as I was leaving the theater on a Thursday or Friday as I drove down Pearl Street.  This past Friday two women darted out from between two cars, and I didn’t even see them!  Thankfully I was aware that people are stupid near Jillian’s & The Bayou, and was driving slowly.

Then there are the crazies who like to cross Central Ave. near the Arbor Hill area on into the Village of Colonie.  I’ve had people run out in front of me in the middle of the night.  They’re simply insane!  It’s like they’re daring you to hit them, as if there were no consequence to that.

My bf once told me that I may have the right of way, but do I want my tombstone to say that?  Interesting.

Here lies Kari.  She had the right of way.

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I don’t blog for a week, and this is what I come up with.

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Rule of Three

I’ve wondered why so many things are classified as a “rule of three.”  Three  strikes & you’re out, bad things come in three’s, etc. (I understand where   strikes come from, just needed another example).  I’ve tried applying the  rule of threes to my life on several occasions, mostly because it helps me  feel good about something good happening after a series of bad things.  This year has been a quick rule of threes for me.  In five months, I’ve got  the three bads already.  January was uneventful – we moved into the new house  (good). February was my diagnosis (bad). March my other grandmother died  (bad). April, why can’t I remember April?  Probably because I cracked my  skull in a car accident in May (bad).  So, those are the three bads, and one  good.  So if the rule applies, then I’m in for more good.  I can say that  getting the furniture from home was part good and part bad, as we now have a  TON of boxes to go through, so that’s a wash & doesn’t count.  So, do you believe in the rule of three, good things come to those who wait,   karma (ran over your dogma – ha ha)?  Does it apply to you?  I’m still waiting for this good stuff!

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